I was watching a Chinese historical drama on Youtube which I can usually finish off a 40 minute episode in one day.  Yes, that’s one of my ways of relaxing at the end of the work day. For some reason I was watching a particular episode and I could not watch more than several minutes at a time. 

The drama was about in- laws who had burrowed their way into the newlyweds’  home. They were slowly taking over the household and  trying to worm their way into the newlyweds’ restaurant as  workers with a favored status of being relatives.

They would play the victim role any time they could and cry more than they should have to gain pity.

I was trying to understand why I couldn’t watch so little of the drama at a time. After the third night of only watching a couple minutes of the drama I realized why I could watch so little….

And the reason is …..(soft drum roll please) because watching the drama brought up feelings of betrayal that I had been feeling personally. I had been dealing with betrayal feelings for the last year and the last thing I wanted when unwinding at night was to be reminded of emotions I had been not dealing with for a year. 

I eventually finished watching the drama.  Luckily it ended up with the newlywed couple kicking out the manipulative in-laws.  That felt good and so did understanding why I couldn’t watch the drama.

Our emotional reactions happen for a reason. When you have a reaction that doesn’t see right, look into it. 

You will find a reason or perhaps you blocked the reason out of your memory.

But looking further into an unusual emotional reaction will give you insight. And that insight will help you in the future.